


I'm not drunk. I'm just not sober.

by JaceRMontague



Series: Sanvers Week 2017 [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Kinda, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 15:00:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceRMontague/pseuds/JaceRMontague
Summary: Alex has to ring her mom to wish her a happy birthday and finds she can't do it sober.





	I'm not drunk. I'm just not sober.

Alex slumped down on the bar stool, her phone flipping over, and over, and over in one hand while the other drummed against the sticky bar table as she thought.

“You okay Alex?” M’gann asked as she approached the redhead, bar towel slung over her shoulder, noting that it was before six and this was early even for the eldest Danvers sister.

Alex hummed in response, not looking at the woman in front of her, her phone still flipping over in her left hand, M’gann needn’t have asked the question because even though she wasn’t actively reading the human’s mind she could feel the darkness in Alex’s mind. It was loud and hopeless, and M’gann was certain there was anger in there somewhere.

“Can I do anything to help?” The bartender asked, her voice soft, wondering if she was going to be needing to ring Maggie or Kara that night.

“Can you get me a beer?” Alex answered, finally looking up and meeting M’gann’s eyes.

Within seconds a bottle of beer had been placed on the countertop next to Alex, the hand that had been drumming the surface stopping and wrapping around the bottle instantly, looking back down at the phone in her hand. At the action M’gann decided she’d be keeping more tabs on the agent than she would do usually.

M’gann crossed the bar to give Alex some space and watched as Alex drank half of the bottle in almost one go, picking at the label on the cold glass as she thought. Once the bottle was nearly completely empty, Alex stopped turning the phone over in her hand and placed her index on the back of it, unlocking it. From where she was standing M’gann could see that a contact card was on Alex’s screen but she couldn’t see who it was.

M’gann watched as Alex steeled herself, as she took a deep breath and set her jaw before she pressed the dial button and brought the phone up to her ear.

“Mom, hi. Uh, Happy Birthday” Alex said in one breath, somehow interjecting a light tone into her voice. “Yeah, sorry. I was going to- earlier yes, I was going to. I was working. You can check with Kara and J’onn if you- no, im not accusing you of not believing me. No- uh- no- what- no- of course I’m not saying that, no, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday-“ Alex paused her argument and downed the rest of the bottle in front of her. “I know Kara rang earlier. She said. No, I was in interrogation all of last night and most of today. Maggie wishes you a happy birthday, too. No, she’s not with me now- she said to pass her wishes onto you when I spoke to earlier. Yes, things are good with us- no- of course, I won’t leave it this long before I ring you again – okay- no- no- what’s that supposed to mean?”

Alex’s hand released the empty beer bottle and dragged through her hair, pulling through knots that had formed throughout the day from hours of running her hands through her hair in the control centre avoiding this exact conversation.

Ten minutes later a defeated, petulant “I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday” was mumbled and M’gann looked back over just in time to watch Alex drop her phone onto the counter, followed closely by her head, the blow cushioned by her forearms as she started softly hitting her head off her arms.

“Can I do anything for you now?” M’gann asked, placing her hands either side of Alex’s elbows, feeling the defeat in Alex's mind.

“Another beer. Please.”

“You sure?”

“Yep”

M’gann placed another beer in front of Alex, who finally sat back up, and wasn’t sure whether the speed the woman had drunk the first was more or less worrying that the fact that she was taking sips of this one between staring through nothing, her thoughts getting louder and angrier and more self-depreciating.

As Alex finished the second beer and ordered the third, M’gann sent a text to Maggie letting the detective know where her girlfriend was.

Within minutes Maggie entered the bar, heading straight over to Alex, silently thanking M’gann with a small smile and a nod.

She sat on the stool next to Alex, Maggie ordering two seltzers with a hand on Alex’s back keeping her steady while M’gann poured the drinks.

“So you spoke to Eliza?”

The sound that Alex let out was somewhere between a groan and a growl and was all the confirmation that Maggie needed.

“How’d it go?”

Alex shrugged, resting her chin on her on her forearm once more.

“Alex” Maggie tried, her voice soft and light, sliding a seltzer into Alex’s reach and sliding the half empty third beer out of the redhead’s grasp.

“I was drinking that” Alex grumbled

“Nah, you were staring at it. You’re drunk.” Maggie teased, making sure she wasn’t upsetting Alex.

“I am not!” Alex whined “Not sober but I’m definitely not drunk.” She continued, lifting her head from her arm to take a sip from the glass Maggie had slid in front of her.

“Okay, okay, you’re not drunk.” Maggie conceded.

The two drank in silence for a little while before Alex spoke.

“She wanted to know why I’m not more like Kara. Same as usual.”

“Did she actually say that again?” Maggie asked, her voice hard, her body tensing because Eliza had asked that question more times than the detective could count anymore.

“In a roundabout way. _It was all Kara rang this morning, why couldn’t you? Kara rings every other day, why don’t you? Kara has two jobs and still makes time for me, why can’t you? Kara visits as often as she can, why haven’t you been back since you and J’onn were fugitives?_ ”

“You and J’onn were fugitives?” Maggie interrupted, something between laughter and concern in her voice.

“Yeah, the time we escaped CADMUS? We ended up back at Midvale for a while. I promised her I’d try to get home. That I’d try hard. And then we survived myriad and I never went back. I couldn’t go back. I can’t go ba-”

“Hey, hey, you’re spiralling. It’s okay that you can’t go back. It’s okay. You don’t have to go back. Ever if you don’t want to. You don’t even need to ring her again. Or if you do talk to her you can make sure me and Kara are with you when you do. Me and Kara can tell her you need some time away from her if you want us to.”

“But she’s my mom and she’s Kara’s-”

“Exactly. She’s your mom. She’ll understand. And she’ll know it can’t be forever because she’s Kara’s mom too. It’s up to you. It’s up to you Danvers. And I’ll help you no matter what you choose.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is angsty kinda, I am sorry. Kinda. 
> 
> It's based entirely on http://onceuponafandomismabyss.tumblr.com/post/162019242089/just-so-you-guys-know-i-was-forced-to-ring-my-dad
> 
> I'm in the middle of writing a happier day three with the superfriends at the beach getting drunk together so that'll be up before midnight.


End file.
